Dr. Harvey Karp’s Child Abuse Prevention Advice

April is National Child Abuse Prevention month. As such, this is the perfect time to hear top pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp’s input on the topic. He is the creator of the best-selling Happiest Baby on the Block book and DVD. You can also find “Happiest Baby” class locations on his site.

Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) is the most deadly form of child abuse. It is the #1 cause of death from any type of child abuse. Each year, 1500 babies are severely shaken - ending up in emergency room visits. 25% of those babies die while 66% of the survivors suffer brain damage. What is most shocking (to me anyway) is that these are very young babies - the average age is 4 months! This is only the tip of the iceberg though. It is assumed that more babies are shaken and suffer mild brain damage. They have just never been diagnosed.

Obviously, this is a serious problem. The main trigger for SBS attacks are crying babies. Some parents can’t handle their baby’s cry when they are stressed or exhausted. The crying (which can grate like fingernails on a chalk board to a parent’s nervous system) can literally push the parents over the edge. The combination of crying babies and exhaustion are also top causes for a variety of things including postpartum depression; mothers prematurely giving up breastfeeding; marital discord and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome(SIDS) – to quiet fussy babies, caregivers sometimes put them on their stomachs rather than their backs.

Fortunately, there are great resources, like Dr. Karp’s books, DVDs and classes, to help teach parents how to soothe their crying babies and boost infant sleep. Personally, I found the tips in his books (I bought both the baby and toddler ones when Michael was younger) very helpful. Now, I’ve learned that the DVDs are equally (if not better!) effective tools. In fact, the DVDs are being used in classes for teen parents, women suffering from postpartum depression, on military bases, etc. They are also being used in child abuse prevention programs across the county. In addition to the books and DVDs, there are 3,000+ Certified Happiest Baby Educators (CHBE) who teach the principles. You can find them on The Happiest Baby site. (On a side note, I was especially interested in the classes being taught on the military bases since my brother has been in the military since he was 18. With deployment issues, the young age of the parents and the families being away from their support systems, our military families definitely need this type of education!)

Basically, Dr. Karp teaches parents how to “switch on” their baby’s calming reflex. Parents are taught how to calm their baby’s cries in minutes and how to have their babies sleep an extra 1 to 3 hours (on average) at night. The trick about the calming reflex though is that you must do it exactly right or it won’t work. The 5 S’s covered in the book are: swaddling; side (or stomach), shhh, swinging and sucking. When done incorrectly (i.e. swaddling too lightly), the whole purpose is defeated. That’s why the DVDs are especially helpful visuals.

One thing that I wanted to point out is that it’s essential that men learn these techniques too since 70% of SBS attackers are men. An interesting thing that I learned is that (in studies) crying babies cause a physical stress reaction in both men and women. However, when asked, the women recognize that the crying is driving them crazy while the men don’t. They don’t realize that they are stressed until they snap. That’s the bad news. The good news is that men are better at baby calming then women, because they are more willing to follow specific directions. Once they learn that they can calm the baby down, it makes the men proud of themselves and makes them feel like they want to be with the baby more.

At the end of my time speaking with Dr. Karp, I asked him, “Do these tips work for all babies?” For the most part, the answer is “yes”. However, there is a small percentage (5%) of babies that they won’t help even when the parent is doing the 5 S’s right. Usually, that is because there is a medical problem, so parents should check with their baby’s doctor. (The tips don’t apply when babies are in some type of physical pain!) In any event, I think that The Happiest Baby books, DVDs (and their white noise CD) are valuable additions to the library of every expectant and new mom. In study after study, parents who have used these products feel more prepared (expectant parents) and much better (current parents) at calming their babies’ cries.

Reassurance Regarding Epidural Hematomas in Kids

Since Natasha Richardson died from an epidural hematoma, I have been thinking a lot about falls in general. I have especially been concerned about kids’ falls. Personally, I don’t know any mom whose kid has not fallen – off a bed, a sofa, or something. (Okay, one mom that I know claims her kid has never fallen off anything in his life, but I’m not quite sure that I believe her.) Anyway, I’ve been wondering whether I should take my kids to the hospital when they fall in the future. (I’m a pretty attentive mom, but I’m also a realist – they will fall again.)

Fortunately, I was able to talk to renowned pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp this morning. (I was interviewing him regarding a totally unrelated topic, but he was kind enough to calm my fears.) First of all, he said that Ms. Richardson’s condition was an uncommon event in general even more so in regards to young children. Their skull bones are more flexible and not as easily broken. When our kids do fall, for the most part we just need to keep any eye on them for the next couple of hours. If it happens at night, we should wake them up occasionally to make sure that they’re alright. When do we need to take them to the hospital? If they have a big knock on their head, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Also, if the kid gets knocked out when they hit their head, complain about headaches or start vomiting – it’s time to get medical attention. As a final note of reassurance, Dr. Karp shared that in his 30+ years as a pediatrician, he has never come across a case of epidural hematoma in kids (and he has treated many kids who have fallen!). All that to say – it happens, but it’s extremely rare in its occurrence. Whew - that’s a relief!

Don’t Be Nervous About Your Child’s Development

One of the questions that I get asked the most by my moms - especially first-time moms - is “Is this normal?” in regards to their kids’ development at various stages. There’s such a wide range of “normal” that 9 times out of 10, the answer is “yes”. (Of course, I’m not a pediatrician or specialist, so I always encourage moms to also speak with the professionals in their lives!)

Although I’m not an “expert”, one of the best parts of being a parenting writer is that I have access to them! As such, I asked Ellenmorris Tiegerman, Ph.D., the Founder and Executive Director at the School for Language and Communication Development, to share about this topic. She specializes in children with language and autism spectrum disorders. Below are her thoughts:

“Parents are often concerned at different points in their children’s lives that something is developmentally wrong. There are several misconceptions that parents need to understand as they proceed to gather information and to figure out what their child needs. Firstly, the term “wrong” is not helpful. If there is a developmental difference between your child and his peers, most of the time the “difference” is just that – a learning style difference. Children do not all learn in exactly the same way. Nor do they learn at exactly the same rate of development. Sometimes children are shy or they have very specific activity preferences. None of these things indicate either a disorder or a disability. So my recommendation to parents who are just beginning this process is to calm down and put your fears aside. At this stage, parents need to gather information.

Secondly, there are several helpful sites for parents who have young children (the American Speech Language and Hearing Association at www.asha.org). This site has a section specifically for parents who are interested in determining what skills children acquire at specific ages. This information is usually presented on a developmental chart. The advantage of looking at a developmental chart is that parents can compare their children’s behavior to other typical children at specific ages. So, the parent who is concerned about her 2-year-old who only has 10 words can look at a developmental chart for comparison purposes. Many two-year-olds have a vocabulary of 100 to 200 words and are beginning to combine words to create short sentences. What if a parent is still anxious about the difference between her child and the skills described on the developmental chart?

As I indicated earlier, it is important for parents to understand that normal development does not have exact ages and stages. Keep in mind that social environments and families as well as cultural experiences are vastly different. As a result, what children know will be directly affected by the experiences that you provide such as play dates, museums, dance classes, art classes, music classes and most important adult/child conversations. Talk to your child – constantly. The most important indicator of learning development and success is language. Teach your children about words. Teach your children to read books, books and more books.

Okay, so after all of this, parents discover that there is a 3- to 6-month difference between their child’s skills and the developmental chart. Most of the time a difference of three to six months is quite typical since children are not robots, they are little language processors who are highly specialized and unique. Children hear everything, children process everything but they learn in their own special way. Look at your child in relation to his peers. Is he standing on the sideline? Is he watching? Does he interact? Does he approach other children? Does he play with toys? When a child has a disability, he is usually disengaged, isolated and not playing with toys appropriately.

If parents are concerned, then the first professional to speak to is the pediatrician. If the pediatrician has concerns, then she can advise parents about clinical practitioners who can appropriately evaluate a young child’s hearing, language and social skills. Formalized evaluations will then provide quantitative as well as qualitative information to distinguish between a learning difference and a developmental delay. Usually a developmental delay of 8 to 12 months signals the need for intervention services. In some communities, a child has to present a difference of 12 to 18 months before services are provided.

Remember, a developmental difference is not a developmental delay. There are many parent-friendly guidebooks that provide valuable developmental information, so relax. Consider this journey of leaning about your child as one of exploration and wonderment. Even after all of these years, I am always amazed at how easily and readily typical children learn the most complicated concepts, skills and lessons. Typical children are natural learners. Their differences relate to how they learn. The best thing for parents to do is to watch their children to see what they are doing and how they are doing it.

Suggested Books:
-What is Language? What is Speech?

-The Portable Pediatrician: A Practicing Pediatrician’s Guide to Your Child’s Growth, Development, Health and Behavior, from Birth to Age Five by Laura W. Nathanson.

-Alphabet Kids From ADD to Zellweger Syndrome by Robbie Woliver.

-Language Disorders in Children Real Families, Real Issues, and Real Interventions by Ellenmorris Tiegerman-Farber and Christine Radziewicz.”

How to Protect Your Child from Identity Theft

A little while ago, one of my friends mentioned to me that she had to go through a series of paperwork because her daughter’s identity had been stolen. Her daughter was less than 2 at the time! Since then, I have heard several stories about child identity theft. Apparently, children make great targets for identity thieves for a number of reasons - one being that it can take years before the crime is actually discovered. Last Friday, I spoke to Lyn Chitow Oakes the Chief Marketing Officer of TrustedID to learn more about this trend and about some signs to keep watch for.

It’s no surprise that identity theft is on the rise, especially in these economic times, so I learned the following six tips to help protect families:

1. When enrolling your kids for various things (i.e. at medical offices/school/various activities), ask if they really require specific personal information regarding your child, especially there social security number. Protect their information as much as possible, because thieves will try to steal their identities in order to get jobs/social security benefits/etc.

2. Make sure that the personal information in your home is locked up tight. You never know what caregivers/various visitors to your home will do with that information. Funny story – I was talking about this topic with a group of my friends that were over for a Bible discussion group. One of the guys casually said, “I bought someone’s social security number for $500 a long time ago”. We all looked at him like, “What?!” Then we laughed, because he’s a very different man now. However, it just illustrated the fact that you never know the backgrounds or potential threat that family and friends present when it comes keeping your identity safe.

3. Be careful with your mail. That’s often where thieves get their information. Be especially aware of credit card offers that come through the mail. Don’t just throw them away, because someone can easily activate the offer.

4. Be careful with the information that you provide on social media sites. A lot of times people let their guards down. Really, all that most expert thieves need is a name, your birth date and a little more information in order to steal your identity!

5. Make sure that your child does not have a credit report. They really shouldn’t have one. If they do, there’s probably a problem. Also, train you kids not to share their personal information with strangers (i.e. birthday, address, etc.)

6. Be proactive. Protect the entire family with an identify theft protection program. There are many services out there including TrustedID. They are different from credit monitoring agencies that simply let you know what has happened after the fact. Identity theft programs attempt to prevent theft with a variety of services (i.e. they find out if kids have credit reports and unravel the mess if they do; they monitor adult personal information in public and private databases to make certain that stolen information isn’t on the market; etc.). They’re also relatively inexpensive (some family programs are less than $20/month for the entire family including elderly dependants).

In any event, after learning this information, I’m definitely going to be more careful in the future. In reality, it’s impossible to prevent someone from stealing your identity if they really want to. Identity theft is widespread with its own crime syndicates. However, it is important to do what we can to protect our children/our families to the best of our abilities. An ounce of prevention…

To learn more about identity theft, how it happens and how it affects you, visit the TrustedId site.